We’ve updated our Terms of Use to reflect our new entity name and address. You can review the changes here.
We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Lorelei

by SunnyShading

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
I've got an empty bottle to numb the pain - took some medicine for a stomach ache. You called me in the morning to ask me how I'm doing. I kept my eyes opened wide but I could barely move my feet but there's one thing I can do, there's one thing I can say. Is that I'm doing quite alright for the state that I'm in... But I've got this two-toned skin darkness and now it's sliding off my fingertips-I said I'd play it out, I'll play it out, I'll play it out of me So I can find some sleep to sink in, singing "God Please forgive me." But there ain't no sleep for the broken, no there ain't no sleep for the broken. You need a couple things done by the end of the "mourning" and I stumble down over things that I'm forming. He says, "I think your mother's getting really worried by the state that you're in." And I throw away the things that wouldn't work - cause my heart's so heavy it doesn't hurt. But there's one thing I can do, there's one thing I can say: Is that I'm doing quite alright for the state that I'm in... But I've got this two-toned skin darkness and now it's sliding off my fingertips-I said I'd play it out, I'll play it out, I'll play it out of me So I can find some sleep to sink in, singing "God Please forgive me." But there ain't no sleep for the broken, no there ain't no sleep for the broken. Cause sometimes you've gotta fuel the fire so you can stay awake. I said I'd stay awake and make it through the night. Cause I'm running from the light and I'm sorry I've been having so much trouble fighting off this sickly fight. But someone painted on my head, yeah someone painted on my head That I've got this two-toned skinned darkness and now it's slipping off my fingertips- I said I'd play it out, I'd play it out of me, I'll play it out of me. So I could find some sleep to sink in-singing "God please forgive me." But there ain't no sleep for the broken, no there ain't no sleep for broken. But I've got this two-toned skin darkness and now it's sliding off my fingertips-I said I'd rip it out, I'd play it out, I'll play it out of me. So I could find some sleep to sink in-singing "I will find some sustenance." But there ain't no sleep for the broken, no there ain't no sleep for broken parts.
2.
I burn matches, not for candles but to start a fire in our house. And I start fights not for conversations, but to make up for resentment inside. And we lie close but not close enough to ever end a fight to ever shed some light. And if you told me you were winning, I'd say you were right. And though I want to be simple to love but I'm always so complicated. And our hearts weren't warm enough for me, so I'll remain outside in the cold. Yeah, I'll stay cold for you. And you can stay warm in there. See I was never good enough so I say, "That I'm the only man who could stay cold forever." Cause you were just another blunt and I was an addict. Then we burnt matches, not for candles, but to burn down every song. And I'd overreact and blow up my spot and strike matches just to try and get one spark, and I'd become the one who just broke their heart and so easily we remember that every part is burned away. And though I want to be simple to love but I'm always so complicated. And our hearts weren't warm enough for this, so I'll remain outside in the cold. Yeah, I'll stay cold for you. And you can stay warm in there. See I was never good enough so I say, "That I'm the only man who could stay cold forever." Cause I don't need fire to feel. And hell hath no angels that aren't real. And if my heart was a liar then your eyes could kill while I burn and I burn and I burn. Cause you found something that's worth fighting for in the heart of everything I'm screaming for. And I thought I was dieing for you. But that was my only good trait. And though I want to be simple to love I'm always so complicated. And no heart is strong enough for kerosene, so I'll remain outside in the cold. So I don't burn you down.
3.
I didn't know we'd end up here. There wasn't a sign from God or anyone and when I said I could I meant it but I didn't know every move I'd do would end up as a fuck up. And I thought we could make it through but as the fire moved up through the fields I imagined myself losing fear because I suddenly lost the will to resist getting burned. Cause I promised I'd never hurt you- I didn't think I'd eat those words. Cause when the water rose high enough to swallow you, I'm sorry that I never followed through. And when my world became just another empty room. I'm sorry that I never followed through. And people can say all they say and I don't care what they have to say cause I don't want to be in this anyways. Yeah, if this was a forefront of a battle I'll take it anyways. Cause people can say all they say and yeah they said all they had to say but when my heart's soaked in shame I'll take this anyways. But even if it wasn't, I still would. Cause I promised I'd never hurt you-You never think you'd eat those words. Cause when the water rose high enough to swallow you, I'm sorry that I never followed through. And when my world became just another empty room. I'm sorry that I never followed through. Because my ego grew proportionate to my wallet size-the only thing that was bigger was my repeating pride and I grew envious of another man's shirt, another man's shoes because they can do a hell of a lot more for you than I ever could. Cause I promised I'd never hurt you-You never think you'd eat those words. Cause when the water rose high enough to swallow you, I'm sorry that I never followed through. And when my world became just another empty room. I'm sorry that I never followed through. Cause when a heart became the only thing I ever knew I'm sorry that I didn't follow through. Cause when my heart became just another empty noose I'm sorry that I didn't follow suit. And I disappointed you. And disappointed me.
4.
Icarus 04:57
It was the closest to my heart that I've ever known but people threw sticks and stones until we didn't-no we didn't work anymore. So why oh why oh why can't I seem to fly or wipe off the blood that I have on my eyes when the rocks hit me on the side of my face. It's like the memories were only made to haunt me and now I can't seem to fake it. I can't seem to sleep and I can't seem to fake it. I can't seem to sleep anymore. I've always wished that we could just take flight but gravity takes me down as we increased our heights so I pushed you to the sky before I fell from your light. And girl I've told you this a hundred times but the only thing I'm good for are goodbyes. So tell me I'm stupid for falling so short the ones that wanted you played us to hurt-so I bring myself down to full reverse to try to slow things down. But I can't save us if you don't need me. At the end of the day I lose all meaning. And every other face tells me to stop dreaming- but I had enough faith to jump. And I've always wished that we could just take flight but gravity takes me down as we increased our heights so I pushed you to the sky before I fell from your light. And girl,I've told you this a hundred times but the only thing I'm good for are goodbyes. Your clipped wings were sorrow was my fall just in vain? Maybe one day tomorrow they could be replaced. Whether or not they are hollow or built out of pain, who's to say? But somehow I'm not even hurt by the fact that everyone tried to land first on the wings on my partner who felt like home but by the fact that she eventually let go. And I've always wished that we could just take flight but gravity takes me down as we get closer to the sky. So I'll push you one more time before I lose my grip and die. And girl I've told you this a hundred times. And I know it cause I've seen it for my whole life. Girl, I've told you this a hundred times but, the only thing I'm good for are goodbyes.
5.
Faerie 03:54
We were the water that fell in the rain. They were umbrellas dressed in subtle pain. So we fell out of place. So we became flowers growing in the garden Their words became weeds grown too far in. So we fell out of place. So you became the ocean and crashed into me though I was a man in a drought. When I forgot to sing you began to sink to the notion that we suddenly had doubts. So you became the wind that carried me away and I was a balloon wondering every place. When I began to deflate they began to say that the feeling of flight will just fade away. But I was a writer and you were this muse and I truly felt that I fell for you. But nothing no nothing is good enough to ever sing. But I'm too late to the punch to say that love could be enough. Just maybe we didn't have enough. And you became the paint and I became the canvas and we painted a picture that no one would see. But I became a heart hidden by walls and maybe we all are but your the only walls I wanted in on. And you can only keep a perfect place in your heart and your head for so long. But with that kiss that wasn't mine I was forced to move on. Yeah I am a writer and you're still the muse and I really wish that I'd fall out of you. But nothing is good enough to break this imaginary picture. Cause I can't stop forgiving you. And I can't stop saying sorry. Because love is enough. But I could never just give (you) enough.
6.
I had a dream that we kissed last night but you pulled away faster than I'd like. I called your name as you moved away. You looked once but then carried on your way. So I followed suit hoping to catch the girl. But then you hopped over a small fence. And when I reached it I shrunk. And though I tried and tried to climb it I fell in the mud. So God please grant me wings, because I've never flown. I had a dream that we ran through the night, but you ran so much faster than I. And I know it sounds cliche but you emit this radiant light that helped me find my way through the night. And when I awoke I was colder than ever. I felt like your soul has left my side. But if you come home I'll be sure to keep you warm And make you feel like you'll never have to go. But then I remembered you left all on your own. So God please grant me wings, because I've never flown. And I'm sorry, I'm sorry that my innocence was tainted by lust that night that I don't understand cause it was out of my plans to be buried deep down up in your sides. And you can bury a feeling but than you bury it alive. And when the truth begins to lose all reason you start to live a lie. And I asked God, "Could you grant me a ladder just this time?" But to no answer. I had a dream that I grew wings and flew to where you'd be.
7.
I'm fading, fading away-as you're running from all my mistakes and though I stumble I can't humbly gather my thoughts over this. Because the body of these thoughts are stronger than the doubts that I sink in. There's no genuinity to a white lie. And you would throw this fit behind calm words-words spoken too loosely with no control. And we'd scream that "Everything just had to go. So go away so I can be alone." But if you're going away leave me some strength to stay sane. You said, "Everything just had to go." Yeah, everything just had to go away. But "lines" and "lines" and "lines" can't fix a single thing when we're running from the very things that made us live. We're finding out that our leadings thing become a hit or miss so we're unrolling all these words so we could get the best of what we can't resist. But there's no way home when the heart I have is not my own. And my body's failing me lately. When did I learn to sing of only two colors? And you would throw this fit behind calm words-that I lost my defenses caused you lay close to home. And I'd scream just had to go but I'm telling you: it really fucking sucks to be alone. But if you're going away leave me some strength to stay sane. You said, "Everything just had to go." Yeah, everything just had to go away Like all these ambitions I'm dreaming in fixing-it sucks to be a dreamer that believes in everything he sees. That used to be but then I got older. So please don't tell me that our lies against the world those days is all that we could barely say. I know it's true. I know it's true: "The heart always finds its home." But we were too young to remember why we were so alone. So if you find your way back home please tell me why you had to go. You said "Everything just had to go like all these dreams of finding warmth." And I'd repeat that you had to go. So until you change your mind, Don't be alone.
8.
I remember waking up next to your face and thinking that this is the perfect place and I'd softly sing "You are My Sunshine" cause babe you brightened up my world. And then we would brush our teeth together, I'd brush it twice for fresh breathe. So then we kissed and I'd wish it could last forever so we do it again and again and again and again. And I hope you understand why that through every single night I looked up the ceiling in your bedroom each time singing, "I couldn't be happier if I tried." I remember the way you laid your head onto my chest like you can hear my fears and see through my feelings. And you'd say, "Baby why are you shaking?" Can you tell that what I'm feeling is a realization of you leaving. And I hold you closer cause I want you to stay forever but forevers don't exist. And you'd look me in the eye and say you know this too. And I hope you understand why that through every single night I looked up the ceiling in your bedroom each time singing, "I couldn't be happier if I tried." But I started falling in love with the way you hurt me cause I still loved the way you make me feel. And I push you away cause I can't bear to watch you in someone's arms. So I hope you never see why that through every single night I look up the ceiling in my bedroom each time singing, "I was happy this time." Singing, "I Couldn't be Happier if I Tried."
9.
You're building an uproar outside the walls of troy and it takes some deception for you to slip right through and make sense of some destruction in my wake. Was it poetic enough for you to slip right through and not break anything? Not even shake a pin? But, That doesn't make for proper love stories. So why not break every, break every, break every, break every, break every, break every thing. You won't find me in the dark. You won't find me in the light. You're singing, "I could never love you the way that I loved you." You're singing, "I will never love you the way that I loved you cause it did not exist." You're gaining momentum from afar while these empty bottles collect and take the spaces of empty little faces- They mean nothing, nothing, I swear they mean nothing. Cause I'm single-handedly feeling it all from far away. And I can't cut off your aura. Well it's burning, it's burning it screams that it's here to stay. So why not break every break every break every, break every break every... You won't find me in the dark. You won't find me in the light. You're singing, "I could never love you the way that I loved you." You're singing, "I will never love you the way that I loved you cause it did not exist." I'm telling you no because I don't want you in again but my heart's still tender for the soft little aspects of holding down your hands. Don't look at me with those eyes. Don't push me against that wall. Don't tell me it's just a game of lust and abandonment. Did I mean any fucking thing at all? My mind's screaming no no no no. But my body is moving on it own. Because I just don't care anymore. You won't find me in the dark. You won't find me in the light. You're singing, "I could never love you the way that I loved you." You're singing, "I will never love you the way that I loved you cause it did not exist." You won't find me in the dark. You won't find me in the light. You're singing, "I could never love you the way that I loved you." You're singing, "I will never love you the way that I loved you." You're singing, "I will never love you the way that I loved you." So scream it, "I will never love you the way that I loved you."
10.
I've got walls made of steel made of carbon and loneliness. I took the samples of carbon from the last time we kissed. I got a couple of cigs to keep me warm when the war is coming cause I only smoke when the sky is falling. I've got a bottle of wine cause I'm finally old enough to look the cashier in the eye and say that, "I've got time to die." I've got a couple of pills that will me closer than you ever will. Hold your hand on my head and say that you can feel my heart. See the problem's not that you're here not here but the problem's that you left. When people say that they will stay I count the seconds left. Cause I'm not looking for permanent even if I need it. Well who needs love? Who needs love? Who needs love, certainly not I. Well I've got it planned out to the very last dime. Do you need some change in my pocket for the drugs that I hope she'll find. Well my heart's a heavy mess - she said your heart's got a black hole and it's not my place to talk about it but we can smoke it off or do "something" about it. She's got skin like a goddess and eyes with dying fires. You can almost see her darkness from the other side of town. Cause if you're looking for losing for it well now's the fucking time because I'm losing by the night cause I just want to taste your darkness off your shirt, off your shirt. And I said, "The problem's not that I'm scared but I don't think I mean it. This loneliness is gas I used to fuel the fire." So if you're looking for an empty kiss that's all I have to give. Well who needs love? Who needs love? Who needs love, certainly not I. I've got some carnations on my bed stained by the bleeding in my head-I say I'm addicted to the mess as I detox to detox to dehab. Don't tell me you're leaving again. It's not like I wanted anyone to stay anyways. The problem's not that I'm conflicted-just my mausoleums don't get maintenence. Because you will kiss me in the evening and I'm the only one who will feel it. I'm not looking for something serious I just thought you'd stay longer. But who needs love? Who needs love? Who needs love? Who needs love? Who needs love? Who needs love? Who needs love? Certainly not I.
11.
Maybe 02:08
Maybe you can be my Eve and maybe I can be your Adam. And we can overpopulate this world, yeah maybe you can my heaven. And maybe you can the liquid and maybe I can be your solid. And maybe I can surround you until our friction turns us to vapor. Then maybe we will float to the sky. And maybe we could float together. Together we could form some clouds that will rain down from the heavens. And maybe that rain will hydrate an incredibly dry plain. Yeah, maybe our love could be that strong. Maybe we can make a family. Yeah, maybe you can be my child's mother. Maybe we will never leave the bedroom. Maybe our lips would fall off. Cause maybe if I let this seal go we'll never want to let go of each other. Yeah, maybe our love could be that strong. But maybe is such a strong damn word that doesn't really mean a thing so I'll say just what I mean. That I will be your Adam if you will be my Eve. And we can overpopulate this world-all you have to do is be with me.
12.
I've got these two hands of mine-don't you see as they slide down your back in the back of this seat. I've got you breathing in as I breathe you close so I can get a taste of those silent words. You've got your legs locked down to the back of my legs while your hips move back to the beat in our head. I've got a steady tempo that we're so into cause we needed our touches in the night. Singing from your head to your neck. I'm a vampire, yes. And I lay my lips to where your chest hits your dress. Now from your toes to your neck. Screaming, "Don't Stop Yes." Then I can end it off with your lips. Cause baby I don't need to get there first. You've got these two hands of yours, don't you see, as we slide off our shirts in the back of this seat. We've got this breathing down between every kiss like we come back up for air before diving in. We've got our lips locked tight to a distance of an inch, away just enough to make us want it more. And just as we get close we pull away so we can keep on moving, so we can keep on singing... From your head to your neck. I'm a vampire, yes. And I lay my lips to where your chest hits your dress. Now from your toes to your neck. Screaming, "Don't Stop Yes." Then I can end it off with your lips. Baby I don't need to get there first. And right now you're all I know. And our bodies shake-and I'm so afraid with how much I want to taste the taste of your skin. Cause it's so cold. And girl it shows. So let's use our body heat cause your bodies hot enough to keep me moving. And this passion's enough to burn away what's left of our love. Singing from your head to your neck. I'm a vampire, yes. And I lay my lips to where your chest hits your dress. Now from your toes to your neck. Screaming, "Don't Stop Yes." Then I can end it off with your lips. Singing from your head to your neck. I'm a vampire, yes. And I lay my lips to where your chest hits your dress. Now from your toes to your neck. Screaming, "Don't Stop Yes." Then I can end it off with your lips. Cause baby, I don't need to get there first.
13.
Fly Away 02:57
So tell me why you have to leave so soon? I figured you'd be able to wait till late June. There's something in the air that tells me that you're there. You're flying away. So I travel down south, yeah a thousand miles. I figured I'd do anything to see your smile. Your on a red balloon traveling straight to the moon, you're out there. She said this town is not a place for me so go around and maybe you will see. But sorry girl, I guess I'm not that type of guy cause I can't fly. There's just too many maps for me to pick upon so I travel on the bus, yeah my friend's the sun. It keeps me very warm yet leaves me oh so cold like you did. She says she's going straight down to California. Gotta make a name for all the things she's known for. Yeah I believe in you so I'll be there too cheering you on. She said this town is not a place for me so go around and maybe you will see. But sorry girl, I guess I'm not that type of guy cause I can't fly. (ajdgkajdgakdgadg) But now I'm stuck back here in Pennsylvania, broken by all the dreams you left me with from chasing after you. But that's just the way the story goes and no one seems to know that the reasons that made her stay became the reason she will go. So fly Away girl. So Fly Away from me. So Fly Away girl. So Fly Away from me.
14.
1-4-8-10. Well-I'm good at writing letters but I have terrible handwriting. And I'm good at writing stories but I'm terrible at writing endings. Like the story of us and how it ended prematurely. See I'm not really good at making points because I could ramble on for days. But I'd like to be as open as I possibly can but I can't. Oh God-I can't. Cause see I'm a catch. No I'm not a scarless being. I'm not sexy I'm not strong. I'm not smooth and I'm not durable. And God I'm still fighting messes I can't see but I guarantee you that I'm good at writing letters for the person that could read my handwriting.
15.
Windmills 03:58
These roads don't "lack luster" cause I'm afraid of coming home cause I feel there's no tomorrow and it hurts but I know that this isn't the strongest pain in the world. But that never made me feel any less alone. I never learned how to swm. It's getting colder-my mind's getting foggy but I think I'm gonna be okay. No one taught me how to sing. But you can teach yourself to sing the same ol' song if it goes something like this, "It's gonna be okay. And I'm gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. And I'm gonna be okay." My mind has been an anthem of everything that's gone wrong. And I keep saying the day after tomorrow is a good day to stitch my infinitely bleeding heart. But tomorrow never comes. So today I'll start. I never learned how to swm. It's getting colder-my mind's getting foggy but I wanna say I'll be okay. No one taught me how to sing. But you can teach yourself to sing the same ol' song if it goes something like this, "It's gonna be okay. And I'm gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. And I'm gonna be okay." These roads don't "lack luster" cause I'm afraid of coming home. These roads don't "lack luster" cause I'm afraid of coming home. These roads don't "lack luster" cause I'm afraid of coming home. These roads don't "lack luster" cause I'm afraid of coming home.

about

Recorded in my room with Mixcraft 5.

credits

released January 24, 2015

Album Artwork by Nierix: nierix.deviantart.com (Take a look at her beautiful artwork.)
Maxwell Silva for letting me use their banjo and saying I can play it. (Quickly added onto a couple songs.)

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

SunnyShading Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania

My name is Theomar Chakey (Pronounced "Shockey") Francois. I live in Bushkill, PA and I've been expressing myself in this way for quite some time.

So here's my music and I hope you enjoy them.

contact / help

Contact SunnyShading

Streaming and
Download help

Report this album or account

SunnyShading recommends:

If you like SunnyShading, you may also like: